Cheers to a Better Zo in 2012

I have never been very good at commitment. I get bored easily and have trouble focusing on a single task for any extended period of time. I have tried (unsuccessfully) to use this argument to convince my parents to get me tested for ADD, and am now using it to justify the fact that in 20 years, I have never been able to keep a New Years resolution. The least successful resolution to date is the one I make every year at around 11am on January 1^st: to never drink again. It normally lasts until Happy Hour on the 2^nd, at which point I remember that being around my family requires a lot of liquid courage and that resolutions are for losers.

According to Wikipedia (the source for all things truthful), a resolution is more than just a goal—it’s a lifestyle change. While my parents and most medical doctors may not agree with it, I actually like my lifestyle. Despite the fact that my body sometimes hates me for it, the whole “work hard, play hard” thing seems to be going pretty well for me. I have amazing friends and a wonderful family, and I genuinely love my life. Still, I can’t help but wonder what I can do to improve myself (ugh) in the New Year. Mainly because my friends keep reading “Top 10 Resolutions of 2012” on Washington Post Social Reader and it continuously pops up on my newsfeed.

Most people’s resolutions involve losing weight or getting out of debt, but since I have actively been trying to lose weight since I was 11 and have no personal finances to speak of, these don’t really seem like logical “lifestyle changes” for me.  Apparently, the things I want to achieve this year are a little different than those of “most people.” Here’s what I could come up with:

1. Get some personal finances. Preferably in the form of a paying job, though I am not opposed to the idea of a sugar daddy.
2. Do at least one selfless thing every day. Seriously.
3. Run a Half Marathon by my 21^st birthday, without changing my drinking habits. Also, learn to run hungover.
4. Stay away from toxic people—especially the ones that come in the form of college athletes.
5. Open my own Netflix account. The fact that my ex-boyfriend and his entire family can see that I’ve watched four seasons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians this week is really not ok.
6. Have more respect for myself. Even when there is tequila involved. 

While I still think resolutions are for overweight housewives who read self-help books, I figure it can’t hurt to at least try to be a better person in 2012. This does, however, mean that I still have 9 hours to be selfish, spend other people’s money and make out with athletes. After that, it’s cheers to the new me. Happy New Year everyone!!!!

After this New Years, I resolved not to make this face in pictures.